Playing The Blame Game: The Detrimental Impact of Avoiding Responsibility

Life would be blissful and easy in a perfect world, and blame would never point in our direction. We could skate through life doing what we pleased, never being held accountable for our actions. Unfortunately, such a world does not exist, and we all must take responsibility.  While conflicts and disagreements are a normal part…

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Managing Expectations and Reducing Holiday Stress 

The holiday season is a time when we pile in the car, drive around our neighborhood, look at the fairy land that is Christmas, and marvel at the creativity of our neighbors. The shops are filled with endless gift opportunities, and the scent of pine trees and gingerbread cookies wafts through our home.  It is…

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Navigating the Holiday Season: Strategies for Dealing with Problematic Family Members

Thanksgiving is a time of joy, celebration, and eating massive amounts of food while the buttons on our pants strain for dear life. It’s when families come together to create lasting memories and reminisce about past feasts, succulent turkey, and football games won and lost. However, this time of year can also be challenging for…

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Diffuse family anger by talking differently — to yourself!

Case #1: Jeanette and Tom had been married 15 years. Wanting to surprise him for his birthday, Jeanette bought (with her own money) Tom a big-screen LCD television. Tom’s reaction? He instantly blew up and berated Jeanette for spending so much money, buying more television than they needed, and buying a bigger one than they…

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Anger in the American family – four steps to teach family to treat you better

Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always feeling angry and “used” by her family, constantly saying that everybody took advantage of her. She felt that she worked like a slave but her family showed no appreciation or acknowledgment of her many efforts. Case #2- Bill, a 34 year old husband complained that…

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Anger in The American family – How to stress guard your family

Joe and Emily live in Southern California with their three young children. Both work and must commute 2 hours daily on busy freeways, often not getting home until 7:30 PM, exhausted and depleted. Stressed, they have little patience for the antics of their young children resulting in constant shouting matches, defiance on the part of…

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Control family anger with assertive communication

“Dr. Fiore,” my 42 year old married patient (Mary) began, “my family expects me again this year to host Christmas dinner and I am just too exhausted; what should I do?”“Why not tell them how you feel,” I suggested.“Because I don’t want to hurt their feelings and I feel guilty if I don’t do what…

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Anger Management in Action; Setting Realistic Expectations

How high should you set the bar for yourself or others in term of what you expect? This was a recent discussion topic brought up by Robert in a recent fast-track anger management seminar that we held in Newport Beach, California. Set the bar too high and the gap between what you expect and what…

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Reduce Anger by Asserting Yourself

This holiday season, you may find yourself in groups or gatherings that make you feel uncomfortable. Sometime you can change it without offending anyone, yet standing up for our rights or opinions. We call this “assertive communication.” When the tone of a social gathering becomes too confrontational, negative, lewd, insensitive, prejudiced, or otherwise distasteful, you…

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