How to Navigate Disappointing Outcomes
Sammi thought she had prepared herself for this outcome; after all, the odds were 50/50, but the feeling of loss, betrayal and hollow emptiness overwhelmed her. She had poured her heart and soul into her volunteer work, selling T-shirts, distributing yard signs, and even organizing community meetings to help her beloved candidate win. Potluck Fridays…
Navigating those Tough Talks
Relationships, no matter how perfect they may seem, always come with some bumps in the road, and there inevitably comes a time when we must have that dreaded ‘tough talk’ with our partner. The movies portray this as the ‘we need to talk’ moment, a cliffhanger where the audience wonders whether their relationship will survive…
Is Politics Affecting Your Relationship?
Throughout my life, I have seen political opponents come and go, listened to people speak of their differing opinions, and watched the events surrounding Washington play out without directly impacting my practice. However, our political climate has been so emotionally charged over recent years that the divide between sides has never been more significant. In…
Learn Your Love Language
We all have that special something that makes us feel loved. For some, it is a warm embrace; others may prefer a delicious home-cooked meal or spending time with their mates. Everybody is different, and we all feel and show love uniquely. This is the basis of the concept of ‘Love Languages ‘, a term…
Retreat and Take Time to Think Things Over.
How to Let Calmer Heads Prevail. Part one. Cassie and Phil loved each other dearly but often found themselves in heated verbal battles over almost anything and everything. The most minor disagreements quickly became a full-fledged war over who was right and who was wrong. This left Cassie and Phil feeling exhausted, emotionally disconnected from…
Playing The Blame Game: The Detrimental Impact of Avoiding Responsibility
Life would be blissful and easy in a perfect world, and blame would never point in our direction. We could skate through life doing what we pleased, never being held accountable for our actions. Unfortunately, such a world does not exist, and we all must take responsibility. While conflicts and disagreements are a normal part…
Navigating the Holiday Season: Strategies for Dealing with Problematic Family Members
Thanksgiving is a time of joy, celebration, and eating massive amounts of food while the buttons on our pants strain for dear life. It’s when families come together to create lasting memories and reminisce about past feasts, succulent turkey, and football games won and lost. However, this time of year can also be challenging for…
Navigating daily stress in an overwhelming world.
Every day, the world we live in presents us with innumerable challenges. This results in a constant source of stress; from worrying if we are going to be on time to pick up the kids, what to prepare for dinner with little in the fridge to having to take time from work to care for…
The Significance of Social Awareness
Social awareness plays a crucial role in our interactions with others, yet some people seem completely unaware of the impact they have on those around them. They may unintentionally upset people in various settings, like at work or within their family, yet remain puzzled when confronted with negative reactions. Their lack of empathy prevents them…
What is a conflict igniter?
A conflict igniter refer to a pattern of communication that often results in a gloves off, battle Royale between a couple. Regardless of who ignited the conflict, the result is the same – escalation. Conflict Ignitor #1- Blame and Criticism This igniter occurs when one or both partners are highly critical and blame the other…
Why J.A.D.E. doesn’t work to resolve conflict with your partner
What is JADE? It is an acronym for the ineffective tactics of Justifying, Arguing, Defending or Explaining to resolve conflict. It is a term borrowed from psychiatrist and team-cognitive-behavioral guru Dr David Burns. Here is what it means J – Justifying your actions. “I might have done that, but you also did….” Justifying is a…
How To Tank Your Relationship – Part I
Many couples struggle with one or both partners exhibiting less desirable traits that are perceived as selfish, uncaring, misguided or just plain wrong. Research has shown however that many couples can survive – and even thrive – in a relationship where one or both partners have these negative traits. Surprisingly, it is not the traits…
How to deal with difficult people coping with the aggressive driver when he is a loved one
45 year old John terrorized his family when they were his passengers. He would yell at them if they complained about his driving. He would ignore them when they showed signs of discomfort and even seemed to enjoy scaring his passengers with his maneuvers such as tailgating, weaving in and out of traffic, passing other…
Sports parents who lose control
Pennsylvania — A parent body slammed a high school referee after he ordered the man’s wife out of the gym for allegedly yelling obscenities during a basketball game. The referee was treated at a hospital for a concussion and released after the attack. Charged with simple assault, assault on a sports official, reckless endangerment and…
How to control your emotions on the road
Dateline: December 4th. Orange County, California. A 29 year old man was shot to death, an apparent victim of road rage. According to newspaper accounts, he had a reputation for never backing down from a fight. The man and his half brother were heading home from a plumbing job when the trouble began. Driving in…
Anger in the workplace – key management strategies
Joe, a 15 year city employee with a good record began missing work, and showing irritability with supervisors and customers alike. He then started to shout at customers who frustrated him. As complaints mounted, his supervisors “wrote him up” but did not try to discover the reasons for his drastic change of behavior. Finally, when…
How to deal with an adult bully
Sixty-four year old Bill was a married retired executive who sought anger management help on the insistence of his wife Ann. After 24 years Ann could no longer tolerate his bullying behavior toward her, their children, and their friends. He would often relate in an insulting, “get in your face” way using a loud, intimidating…
Rage behind the wheel: Can we help it?
Recent headline: “Road Rage may be due to medical condition called Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)” What is the science behind this? The study, reported in the June (2006) issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry was based on a national face-to-face survey of 9,282 U.S. adults who answered diagnostic questionnaires in 2001-03. It was funded…
Five skills to deal with workplace anger
Leroy was a superstar in the Real Estate business, producing three times the monthly business of his nearest coworker. He was a driven, highly competitive young man who saw his manager as getting in the way of even higher production. Tension turned to irritability. Yelling and shouting followed. On the day he was fired, he…
Control family anger with assertive communication
“Dr. Fiore,” my 42 year old married patient (Mary) began, “my family expects me again this year to host Christmas dinner and I am just too exhausted; what should I do?”“Why not tell them how you feel,” I suggested.“Because I don’t want to hurt their feelings and I feel guilty if I don’t do what…
Couples in crisis: How couple therapy mitigates stubborn psychological defenses
Guest article by Dr James Tolbin. Edited slightly and reproduced with permission. Why does a couple typically seek therapy? Research indicates that by the time a couple seeks couple therapy and arranges an appointment, the partners have been at war for multiple years on a range of seemingly unresolvable issues. Often a recent event is…