Couples Conflict – The Dance of Anger

Jim and Sally have been married for 10 years. They argue so much that friends invite them for dinner a lot because they provide the evening’s entertainment with their bickering and constant conflict. Their arguments are over many of the same issues over and over again. They just seem to trigger angry responses in each…

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Defensiveness Can Destroy Relationships

How would you describe a “defensive” person? To me, a defensive person is always blocking other people, like a defensive back on a football team. Keeping them out. Not letting them get close. Not letting others influence them in any way. Defensive people are poor listeners because while you are talking they are preparing their…

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Anger Class 101: Silence is an Anger Management Tool

They say that silence is golden. Tell that to Sally and Jim who argue constantly and fight like cats and dogs over almost every issue. Both are highly successful, intelligent and verbal so there is no end to issues over which to fight. If perchance they do run out of issues temporarily, they creatively start…

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Promotional Video for Marriage and Couples Therapy in Newport Beach

I just posted a new promotional video that I had created announcing my new location in Newport Beach California. In addition to providing marriage and couples therapy at this new location, I can also provide my services to people all over the world with Skype. It is my hope that I can help improve the…

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The AngerCoach on Skype: Get individual sessions at your convenience

Over the years, I have always tried to use technology to help offer my services to more people and in more convenient ways. For over a decade I made practical use of my website for this very reason. Once the technology became available , toll free number I made my anger management program available as…

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New Office Location in Newport Beach California!

I am proud to announce my new office location in Newport Beach California. I hired someone from Mississauga commercial cleaning, to come clean the office before I moved everything in it. They did a really great job! Located at 200 Newport Center Drive, Suite 300, (Fashion Island – next to the Edwards Theater), Newport Beach,…

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Are You An Anger Hypocrite?

There are many definitions of a hypocrite, but the one that I wish to discuss in this blog is a person who professes one thing but does another. The hypocrite imposes standards on others to which his or her own behavior does not comply. The Anger Hypocrite One specific type of hypocrite that I often…

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Anger Management In Action: Let sleeping dogs lie?

“How did your week go, Samuel?” I asked my married patient who  consulted me for anger management and anger management skills to deal with his wife. “Much better,” he replied, “because I kept my mouth shut this time when I desperately wanted to argue with her because I knew I was right. I decided to…

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Angry Over Power Struggles in Your Relationship?

A young angry misguided soul sat in one of our anger management classes dejected. The instructor asked why he was there. He said that his wife was angry over his not putting the toilet seat down after his use. Other class members looked at him incredulously and remarked: “you spent all this money on an…

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Anger Management In Action: Try Simple Habit Changes

Thirty one year old Harry is a fairly typical client in our local anger management classes. At work he is considered a very nice man, a lamb, really. By his co=workers, he would be voted last place on a list of people who needed anger management. But his wife Holly tells a different story. She…

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Do some angry people not show it?

We all recognize the hot-headed person who yells, shouts, has a red face, clenched fists and bulging neck veins when angered or frustrated. It is easy to see that person as angry. But, is it possible to be just as angry but never show it? To suppress angry feelings or turn  them inward so that the anger affects our…

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AngerCoach Show – Episode #15 – Peace at any price?

This month we discuss the whether the concept of “Peace at any price” is really valid when dealing with issues that come up in marriage. When dealing with problems in any relationship, assertive communication will often yield better results because it communicates feelings better than simply “clamming up”.

“Peace At Any Price” is Often The Wrong Strategy

Jeffrey was a beleaguered husband. Married for 15 years, he reported that his wife criticized him for nearly everything without giving him any recognition or credit for the good things he did for her and the family. He felt he could do nothing right, despite the fact that he was a very good provider, he was…

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Can’t change your partner? Try Looking in The Mirror!

Anger is an emotion. But, angry emotions often trigger a specific behavior (like yelling, throwing things, hitting, insulting someone, etc) which causes problems for you either at home, at work, on the road, or in your family. Most people in our anger classes tell us that one of the reasons they exhibit the angry behavior is because they want to change someone or…

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Financial Infidelity: Are you dishonest about money?

As the economy tightens, handling of finances in families is increasingly at the core of family fights and conflicts presented to therapists. Financial strain may greatly increase family stress which in turn affects all aspects of the relationship and family life. Even worse, is the introduction of what therapists are now calling “financial infidelity” –…

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Is Empathy Declining?

Empathy is defined as the ability to put oneself in another’s shoes, to understand their feelings and feel them yourself, and to see the world as they do. Theodore Roosevelt said: “A very large share of the rancor of political and social strife arises from sheer misunderstanding by one section, or by one class, of another, or…

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Single Because of Anger?

We often get calls from single people who request help with anger management because they have just lost another relationship due both to their anger AND  the  inability of their boyfriend or girlfriend to deal with their criticisms, angry outbursts, or  sarcastic ways of communicating. Fact is, if you are used to communicating in an…

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Anger in your relationship? Guys: Before Trying To Fix, Just Listen

In our local anger management classes, we regularly hear from clients as to what causes anger in their  relationships. Recently a young woman revealed that “99% of our fights occur because my husband tried to fix what is bothering me.” At this point, the males in the class were astounded that this woman could be…

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AngerCoach Show – Episode #11 – Anger and Sex

This months episode we discuss the relationship that sex and anger share. As a practicing Psychologist and Marriage Therapist, I have come across many couples who experience sexual frustrations in their relationships. Often times anger can arise from sexual frustration, and as this episode discusses, sexual frustration can result from anger. In this podcast we…

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How To Tank Your Relationship- Lesson 2

In our last blog, we taught you Lesson 1 of how to tank your relationship: React to bad behavior by your partner  in way that indicates that you think they are 100% wrong and you are 100% right. Then assume that there is only one way (your way) to view or look at the situation,…

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How To Tank Your Relationship – Lesson 1

Miguel has just gotten off the telephone with his buddies with whom he made arrangements to play basketball Saturday morning. Unfortunately, he did not discuss this first with Maria who obviously is very upset over this. From her point of view, Miguel often makes plans independently, just as if he was still a single guy….

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