“I worked hard for my knowledge,” Bob said in a session, but “others want to drain me of my knowledge and skill so they won’t have to do the hard work themselves to learn it.” “Besides, they are so stupid and they are unmotivated toÂ improveÂ themselves.”
Bob was very much into self-development and self-improvement and thought everyone should be too. He would quickly become angry when he encountered people who just “settled,” were happy with an average life and saw no need to improve themselves.
Perhaps you recognize yourself or someone close to you in Bob. The following two thinking errors are causing Â angst and anger in Bob and others who think like him:
1. That self-development is aÂ universallyÂ good thing and everyone should do it. I would ask; “Why?” In myÂ opinion, people have a right to NOT develop their full potental if they chose to live their lives that way. Who are we to judge others and what is good or bad for them? Besides, how do we know when people are at their full potential? Human beings often misjudge others and expect more out them than is realistic or possible.
2. That everyoneÂ hasÂ equal capacity to improve themselves. I believe that the motivation and ability to constantly improve oneself is probably distributed among human beings just like other skills – some people have a great deal of it (likeÂ athleticÂ ability) and others not so much. We will be less angry if we find a way to accept this andÂ viewÂ the world in this fashion.
If we can find a way to change how we think about things and how we view things, we canÂ immediatelyÂ change how we feel about them. Of course, you don’t have to, and you have a right to think any way to wish, but if you want peace of mind, try these thought changes and see what happens!