How Important is Emotional Intelligence (EQ)?
In a recent session, 65 year old Dan, a retired insurance manager, was reflecting on mistakes he had made in his life. At the top of his list was an incident twenty years earlier when he received a home visit from a corporate V.P. who was vetting him for a large promotion as a district manager of a…
Single Because of Anger?
We often get calls from single people who request help with anger management because they have just lost another relationship due both to their anger AND the inability of their boyfriend or girlfriend to deal with their criticisms, angry outbursts, or sarcastic ways of communicating. Fact is, if you are used to communicating in an…
Anger in your relationship? Guys: Before Trying To Fix, Just Listen
In our local anger management classes, we regularly hear from clients as to what causes anger in their relationships. Recently a young woman revealed that “99% of our fights occur because my husband tried to fix what is bothering me.” At this point, the males in the class were astounded that this woman could be…
AngerCoach Show – Episode #9 – Managing Expectations
This months episode discusses the benefits of managing your expectations. Learn what your expectations are, where they come from and understand how the world around us influences our expectations. When we understand these things, then we can better adjust what our expectations are when it comes to our lives, our relationships, our families, our possessions…
How To Tank Your Relationship – Lesson 1
Miguel has just gotten off the telephone with his buddies with whom he made arrangements to play basketball Saturday morning. Unfortunately, he did not discuss this first with Maria who obviously is very upset over this. From her point of view, Miguel often makes plans independently, just as if he was still a single guy….
Apologize correctly to deal with conflict
Did you know there is a science and an art to learning how to properly say “I’m sorry”? Just saying the words “I’m sorry” usually doesn’t get it and often does not resolve the conflict while apologizing the right way just might. If you are asking forgiveness, the following seven steps have been found necessary…
Humor Is Anger Management Technique
Humor is a positive emotion that helps counter-balance anger and other negative emotions in a conflict situation. Think of a teeter-totter. On one end sit anger, resentment, irritation, and all the friends and relatives of these negative feelings. But, on the other end sit humor and other positive emotions. What will happen? The teeter-totter will…
The AngerCoach Show – Episode 6 – How to deal with a passive aggressive
This months episode handles the topic of how to deal with a passive aggressive person. To help us understand this behavior, we interview Dr. Roselyn Laudati who helps us recognize passive aggression in ourselves and others as well as provides excellent tips on how to handle this behavior. Please note: This anger program and these…
Anger Management often involves conflict resolution
Persons often get into angry outbursts and escalations with each other because they don’t know how to resolve conflicts. Often, one person sees himself/herself as the victim which justifies retribution, retaliation, or “getting even” with the other, who also sees himself/herself as the victim. No where was this more clearly demonstrated than on a recent…
Anger often result of poor conflict resolution skills
How do you resolve conflicts with another person? Do you become aggressive? Do you present an attitude of “my way or the highway”? Are you intent on only getting your own way or are you looking for common ground and compromise?  The ability to resolve conflict is a skill that will reduce anger in your…
Express appreciation to resolve conflicts
Anger often results from failure to resolve conflicts with other people. This includes many diverse situations such as couples conflict, parent-child conflict, workplace conflict or company-client conflict. Expressing appreciation is an important ingredient in fixing people problems, according to Harvard researchers Fisher and Shapiro who wrote a really helpful little book called “Beyond Reason……Using emotions…
Stimulate positive emotions to resolve conflicts
Mental health professionals have discovered an important principal that should be used when attempting to resolve conflicts or settle disputes with others. Simply put, conflicts can resolved more successfully when reason and emotion are taken into account. To try to solve an emotional issue with logic alone is often very ineffective and frustrating. We are…