The Perils of the Purple Suitcase
Winter in Southern California is a beautiful time of year. Come December, I make the journey into the darkest depths of my closet, dust off my favorite jacket, and air it out to be worn for its brief yet well-appreciated turn in my clothing rotation. I like to comment to my wife that the jacket…
An Encounter with Mr and Mrs Irate
Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the holiday season are by far my most treasured times of the year. My family comes together; we bask in the glow of stories of old, we meet the new faces that come into our home, and, of course, we eat ourselves silly, take luxurious midday naps, and learn colorful new words…
How to Navigate Disappointing Outcomes
Sammi thought she had prepared herself for this outcome; after all, the odds were 50/50, but the feeling of loss, betrayal and hollow emptiness overwhelmed her. She had poured her heart and soul into her volunteer work, selling T-shirts, distributing yard signs, and even organizing community meetings to help her beloved candidate win. Potluck Fridays…
Taking Control When Emotions Run Hot
“You know Doc, it’s not my fault people don’t understand me. If they could only see the situation from my point of view, I wouldn’t get angry. You know what I mean?” Of course, I know what he meant. If only life took us by the hand and led us down a path paved with…
Learn Your Love Language
We all have that special something that makes us feel loved. For some, it is a warm embrace; others may prefer a delicious home-cooked meal or spending time with their mates. Everybody is different, and we all feel and show love uniquely. This is the basis of the concept of ‘Love Languages ‘, a term…
A Story to Make You Smile…
Have Road Anger? Think of Luigi One day last week, I heard from a previous patient of mine named Jim, whom I had not seen for 15 years. I had long forgotten he was in one of my anger management classes. He called to refer someone else and told me he had always remembered my…
Playing The Blame Game: The Detrimental Impact of Avoiding Responsibility
Life would be blissful and easy in a perfect world, and blame would never point in our direction. We could skate through life doing what we pleased, never being held accountable for our actions. Unfortunately, such a world does not exist, and we all must take responsibility. While conflicts and disagreements are a normal part…
Healing Your Relationship: Overcoming Communication Breakdown
Healthy communication is the heartbeat of any relationship, a tie that connects two individuals, allowing them to understand, empathize, and support each other in the good and bad times. A solid relationship filled with harmony and understanding relies heavily on effective communication. When communication breaks down within a relationship, it can be incredibly distressing for…
Harmful Communication versus Assertive Communication
It is easy to fall into communication patterns that harm us and those around us. Unfortunately, this often results in tense workplace relationships, soured friendships, and, in the case of your relationship, partner conflict that can inevitably lead to divorce. Today, we will address two harmful communication styles and offer some techniques and examples to…
Navigating daily stress in an overwhelming world.
Every day, the world we live in presents us with innumerable challenges. This results in a constant source of stress; from worrying if we are going to be on time to pick up the kids, what to prepare for dinner with little in the fridge to having to take time from work to care for…
How to work though problems in a relationship
Conflict is inevitable in every relationship, however it is very important to learn to understand, resolve and then move forward from the source of this conflict when it arises. During therapy, I tell my patients to “Think of yourself and your partner as a team, working through problems as a ‘we’ as opposed to a…
Explosive rage: Does anger management training help?
Everyone has heard of road rage incidents wherein usually calm and responsible people “snap” and commit an aggressive or violent act. Turns out, that “losing one’s temper” can occur in many different life situations and cause serious emotional or physical harm to others. It is a pattern in which tension builds until an explosion brings…
How to cope with a loved one driving under the influence of impaired emotions
45 year old John terrorized his family when they were his passengers. He would yell at them if they complained about his driving. He would ignore them when they showed signs of discomfort and even seemed to enjoy scaring his passengers with his maneuvers such as tailgating, weaving in and out of traffic, passing other…
Anger in the workplace – key management strategies
Joe, a 15 year city employee with a good record began missing work, and showing irritability with supervisors and customers alike. He then started to shout at customers who frustrated him. As complaints mounted, his supervisors “wrote him up” but did not try to discover the reasons for his drastic change of behavior. Finally, when…
Recognize stress before it turns into anger
After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled into his driveway. The children’s toys were scattered on the walkway to the house.He immediately began noticing slight tension in his muscles and apprehension in his stomach. Entering his house, his wife ignored him while she talked with her sister on the telephone. His heart…
Anger in The American family – How to stress guard your family
Joe and Emily live in Southern California with their three young children. Both work and must commute 2 hours daily on busy freeways, often not getting home until 7:30 PM, exhausted and depleted. Stressed, they have little patience for the antics of their young children resulting in constant shouting matches, defiance on the part of…
The Anger-Damage effect on your heart: Guest blog from Dr Alan Levy
THE ANGER-DAMAGE EFFECT ON YOUR HEART Guest Article by By Alan Levy, Ph.D. How does anger do its damage and contribute to heart trouble? In this brief article, I explain the physiological and psychological mechanisms that are problematic ways of handling frustration and anger. I also present 8 helpful hints to better manage negative emotions…
Angry Mothers: Learn Mindfulness. Then Teach It To Your Children!
The Problem “I can’t deal with my own children,” lamented a young mother in one of our anger management classes.“They won’t listen, they do exactly what they want, they constantly fight with each other, and they won’t do their chores without a major argument.” This young mother was ashamed that she was constantly angry at…
Reduce Anger by Asserting Yourself
This holiday season, you may find yourself in groups or gatherings that make you feel uncomfortable. Sometime you can change it without offending anyone, yet standing up for our rights or opinions. We call this “assertive communication.” When the tone of a social gathering becomes too confrontational, negative, lewd, insensitive, prejudiced, or otherwise distasteful, you…
Anger At Work Linked To Stress
Some people say they know just what to do when their jobs becoming too stressful, but others feel stuck and frustrated. There are tears and confrontations which can lead to poor productivity, abuse of sick days, stealing supplies, and irritability or depression. Sometimes the stress and anger are due to home problems which the employee…
Anger May Trigger Heart Problems
If you have heart problems and are on a ventricular fibrillator, try to stay calm! Boston researchers are reporting that bursts of anger may trigger potentially fatal heart rhythm disturbances. The hotter the temper, the higher the risk appears of ventricular fibrillation. “The old conventional wisdom is that, if you know someone has a heart…