An Encounter with Mr and Mrs Irate
Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the holiday season are by far my most treasured times of the year. My family comes together; we bask in the glow of stories of old, we meet the new faces that come into our home, and, of course, we eat ourselves silly, take luxurious midday naps, and learn colorful new words…
Taking Control When Emotions Run Hot
“You know Doc, it’s not my fault people don’t understand me. If they could only see the situation from my point of view, I wouldn’t get angry. You know what I mean?” Of course, I know what he meant. If only life took us by the hand and led us down a path paved with…
Align Your Expectations and Decrease Conflict
Expectation. This single word can cause so much conflict in a relationship. At some point, we all have expectations in a partnership, such as how the other person will behave, think, or feel, and these expectations stem from our own world experiences and personal values. When our expectations are not met, we can feel irritated,…
Do you believe in forgiveness or revenge?
This topic brings out many conflicting emotions; many of my patients admitted to struggling with the concept of forgiveness and letting go of grievances. Some of my patients feel they need to get even in order to feel vindicated, while others think they will be seen as wimps, especially if the grievance was done on…
A Story to Make You Smile…
Have Road Anger? Think of Luigi One day last week, I heard from a previous patient of mine named Jim, whom I had not seen for 15 years. I had long forgotten he was in one of my anger management classes. He called to refer someone else and told me he had always remembered my…
Harmful Communication versus Assertive Communication
It is easy to fall into communication patterns that harm us and those around us. Unfortunately, this often results in tense workplace relationships, soured friendships, and, in the case of your relationship, partner conflict that can inevitably lead to divorce. Today, we will address two harmful communication styles and offer some techniques and examples to…
Navigating daily stress in an overwhelming world.
Every day, the world we live in presents us with innumerable challenges. This results in a constant source of stress; from worrying if we are going to be on time to pick up the kids, what to prepare for dinner with little in the fridge to having to take time from work to care for…
Does Anger Rule your Relationship?
One of the major challenges of living and thriving in current times is managing our stress levels in a world of complex demands and expectations. There are times when this proves very difficult and we can sometimes lash out at the ones we love. Occasional emotional outbursts (within reason) are common in a relationship however…
The Significance of Social Awareness
Social awareness plays a crucial role in our interactions with others, yet some people seem completely unaware of the impact they have on those around them. They may unintentionally upset people in various settings, like at work or within their family, yet remain puzzled when confronted with negative reactions. Their lack of empathy prevents them…
What is a conflict igniter?
A conflict igniter refer to a pattern of communication that often results in a gloves off, battle Royale between a couple. Regardless of who ignited the conflict, the result is the same – escalation. Conflict Ignitor #1- Blame and Criticism This igniter occurs when one or both partners are highly critical and blame the other…
6 Methods to communicate assertively
Assertive communication helps people – whether they are in relationships or not – experience better interpersonal outcomes. In this video, I will help you understand what assertive communication means, and I provide 6 simple ways to implement assertive communication tools in your life. Improve your relationships with others whether they be friends, family, workmates or…
Quick Anger Tip – Manage Your Time Better
Anger is an emotion that is often triggered by a common malady of modern life-time stress. When you think about it, you may see that time is the original equal opportunity employer. We all get the same amount of time to work with-60 minutes an hour, 24 hours per day, 168 hours per week, 8730…
Five skills to deal with workplace anger
Leroy was a superstar in the Real Estate business, producing three times the monthly business of his nearest coworker. He was a driven, highly competitive young man who saw his manager as getting in the way of even higher production. Tension turned to irritability. Yelling and shouting followed. On the day he was fired, he…
The Eight Tools of Anger Control
It seems that anger is everywhere in our society. One just has to read the newspaper daily or watch the evening news to conclude that controlling one’s angry feelings is a major challenge for many adults, teens, and children. Uncontrolled anger is a major factor in domestic violence and spousal abuse, in aggressive driving violations,…
Don’t get angry – use conflict resolution skills
Guest Article by Sherry Gaba Conflict is difficult for many people. People with codependency often learn to avoid conflict due to fear of abandonment, rejection, and/or criticism. Learning conflict resolution skills makes it easier to handle conflict effectively so you learn not to fear confrontation. Often with the need to people please and receive outside validation,…
The Anger-Damage effect on your heart: Guest blog from Dr Alan Levy
THE ANGER-DAMAGE EFFECT ON YOUR HEART Guest Article by By Alan Levy, Ph.D. How does anger do its damage and contribute to heart trouble? In this brief article, I explain the physiological and psychological mechanisms that are problematic ways of handling frustration and anger. I also present 8 helpful hints to better manage negative emotions…
ANGRY AT YOUR PARTNER? Think Again!
Literally, think again. And then think about what you are thinking about- especially around anger issues. As famous psychologist William James said over 100 years ago: “Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.” The case of Sally and Jim Sally and Jim sat in my office glaring at each other. Sally told a…
Are You An Anger Hypocrite?
There are many definitions of a hypocrite, but the one that I wish to discuss in this blog is a person who professes one thing but does another. The hypocrite imposes standards on others to which his or her own behavior does not comply. The Anger Hypocrite One specific type of hypocrite that I often…
Anger Management: Learn to Diffuse The Angry Emotion
Anger is one of the core emotions or feelings that human beings are hard-wired to experience whenever they are blocked from achieving a goal they have or an end result they wish to achieve. Anger Management is the process of learning how to deal with anger as a core emotion. Everybody feels anger from time…
Six Parental Tips For Your Angry Children
It was labor day when 8 year old Brandon’s mother heard a commotion from her childs room. Seems that his 14 year old visiting cousin said something that upset Brandon which caused Brandon to strike the other boy. His mother Michelle hysterically called her therapist wondering what to do and how to handle the anger…
Anger Management In Action: Let sleeping dogs lie?
“How did your week go, Samuel?” I asked my married patient who consulted me for anger management and anger management skills to deal with his wife. “Much better,” he replied, “because I kept my mouth shut this time when I desperately wanted to argue with her because I knew I was right. I decided to…