Angry because your partner just won’t change? Try a fresh approach.
Aaron and MaryAaron and Mary have been married 23 years. She is often angry. He is a very gentle soul who has a lifestyle admired by many. He has a lot of money, he “works” by playing golf 2-3 times a week while courting new clients, he has a gorgeous loyal wife and two beautiful…
Anger, Elephants, and My Late Father
My 94 year old father with whom I have always had a rocky, angry relationship recently died. At his memorial service in a small Midwestern town, I had an eye-opening experience. The room was filled with people who talked about how loving and giving my father was. About how humorous he was and how much…
Anger Management In Action: Stop yelling At Your Kids
I hate to hear parents screaming at their kids. Why? Because it doesn’t work! It creates a bad feeling between parent and child! It makes the “yeller” look very bad socially (if done in public). It encourages “push back” from the yelled-at child. Did I mention that it doesn’t work? Anger Management is an important…
Anger Management In Action: Let sleeping dogs lie?
“How did your week go, Samuel?” I asked my married patient who consulted me for anger management and anger management skills to deal with his wife. “Much better,” he replied, “because I kept my mouth shut this time when I desperately wanted to argue with her because I knew I was right. I decided to…
Anger Management In Action: In Trouble at Work?
Leroy’s Story Leroy was a superstar in the Real Estate business, producing three times the monthly business of his nearest coworker. He was a driven, highly competitive young man who saw his manager as getting in the way of even higher production. Tension turned to irritability. Yelling and shouting followed. On the day he was…
A Master Passive Aggressive
Some times you have to give the devil his due! Such is the case with my brother Tom, an intelligent but very manipulative young man as we were growing up in Ohio. He and my Italian-American father were constantly conflicting with each other because Tom was..well, very stubborn and my father simply didn’t have the…
Who Attends Our Anger Management Classes?
What is your vision of who comes to anger management classes or takes anger management courses online? People often wrongly envision that our classes are filled with people who physically abuse their spouses, are court ordered, and are generally the type of people you wouldn’t necessarily invite into your home. That got me to thinking…
“Peace At Any Price” is Often The Wrong Strategy
Jeffrey was a beleaguered husband. Married for 15 years, he reported that his wife criticized him for nearly everything without giving him any recognition or credit for the good things he did for her and the family. He felt he could do nothing right, despite the fact that he was a very good provider, he was…
Anger Management or Therapy?
In our model of anger management, we teach skill-building, new ways to think, and new ways to respond when confronted with anger triggers. This is distinct from a “therapy” approach to anger management which may involve exploring understanding the deeper root causes of a person’ s anger. In some cases, therapy may also involve medications…
The AngerCoach Show Returns!
We’re back! After a long hiatus, we’ve finally revisited the AngerCoach show and promise to be better than ever! In this episode, we look at the high cost of anger as well as answer the question: “Is anger ever a good thing?” Keep listening – you might be surprised at the answer. Be sure to…
Is Anger sometimes a GOOD thing?
I recently received an email from one of our readers who asks: “isn’t anger sometimes a good thing?” “Doesnt it motivate people to act righteously and to stand up against abuse?” “Would the American Revolution ever have happened without anger?” These are excellent questions. In our anger management program we teach that, yes indeed, anger…
Anger Coach reflects on Movie Gran Torino
I recently enjoyed the movie Gran Torino. In it, Walt Kowalski (Clint Eastwood), a retired Polish American automobile assembly line worker and a Korean War veteran, lives in a changing Highland Park, Michigan neighborhood which is dominated by immigrants. Early in the movie, he befriends a young Hmong teenage neighbor who is harassed by a…
Anger Tool #3: Respond Instead of React
The Anger Coach, with Century Anger Management, had developed a unique and acclaimed model of anger management called the “Eight Tools” model. Tool #3 is “Respond instead of React” meaning that human beings have the unique ability to decide and make choices how to deal with anger triggers in their world. This means we have…
New Beginnings – Dedicated to Cjon Damitri Patterson
At the brink of every New Year we make promises to ourselves and to the ones we love to change. Often we’ve made the same promises every year for the last decade and find ourselves repeating the same negative habits, hurting ourselves and the people we care about. In some circles the number 8 is…