Transforming Moods and Relationships with Positive Self-Talk
The power of words is undeniable, especially when those words come from within. The way we talk to ourselves can have a profound impact on our moods and relationships. Positive self-talk is a potent tool that lifts our spirits and transforms our interactions with others. Here, we explore how positive self-talk can change our moods…
Change Your Self Talk For Better Anger Control
Self talk is what you tell yourself about the things that happen to you in life. Many times anger can be managed successfully by changing this self talk. Anger in life is normal and there are many things that trigger anger in our modern world. Most of these things we cannot control – but we…
Become an optimist for better health and happiness
Friends Jane and Anthony have very different ways of viewing the world. Jane is a pessimist (“the glass is half-empty”) while Anthony is an optimist (“the glass is half-full”) Let’s compare how they think about similar life experiences: Scenario 1: A bad thing happens: both lose their jobsJane is devastated, convincing herself that she is…
Diffuse family anger by talking differently — to yourself!
Case #1: Jeanette and Tom had been married 15 years. Wanting to surprise him for his birthday, Jeanette bought (with her own money) Tom a big-screen LCD television. Tom’s reaction? He instantly blew up and berated Jeanette for spending so much money, buying more television than they needed, and buying a bigger one than they…
Five steps to adjust your expectations
Dateline: January 4th. Orange, Ca. Anger management class participants review anger triggers of the week: “My boyfriend openly flirts with other women in front of me.” Jane, age 23, engaged to be married “a work group back East didn’t finish their project on time, which made our progress look bad – I blew up! Jim,…
How optimism can help—or hurt—your marriage
Beth and Tom were happily married for over 25 years— no small feat in today’s world. At first, their friends could not understand how their marriage succeeded, due to numerous perceived shortcomings. However, closer scrutiny of their marriage revealed that it was their thinking patterns—the ways they explained and interpreted their partner’s behavior to themselves—that…
Four ways to think like an optimist and improve your your health
Even as a child, James was described by teachers and his parents as a happy optimist. As the story goes, one day his parents decided to play a joke on him and test his attitude by requiring him to spend an afternoon cleaning deserted stables at what had been a local racetrack. Returning after two…
Anger in the American family – four steps to teach family to treat you better
Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always feeling angry and “used” by her family, constantly saying that everybody took advantage of her. She felt that she worked like a slave but her family showed no appreciation or acknowledgment of her many efforts. Case #2- Bill, a 34 year old husband complained that…
Recognize stress before it turns into anger
After a stressful day as a computer programmer, Jim pulled into his driveway. The children’s toys were scattered on the walkway to the house.He immediately began noticing slight tension in his muscles and apprehension in his stomach. Entering his house, his wife ignored him while she talked with her sister on the telephone. His heart…
Rage behind the wheel: Can we help it?
Recent headline: “Road Rage may be due to medical condition called Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED)” What is the science behind this? The study, reported in the June (2006) issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry was based on a national face-to-face survey of 9,282 U.S. adults who answered diagnostic questionnaires in 2001-03. It was funded…
Anger in The American family – How to stress guard your family
Joe and Emily live in Southern California with their three young children. Both work and must commute 2 hours daily on busy freeways, often not getting home until 7:30 PM, exhausted and depleted. Stressed, they have little patience for the antics of their young children resulting in constant shouting matches, defiance on the part of…
Don’t get angry – use conflict resolution skills
Guest Article by Sherry Gaba Conflict is difficult for many people. People with codependency often learn to avoid conflict due to fear of abandonment, rejection, and/or criticism. Learning conflict resolution skills makes it easier to handle conflict effectively so you learn not to fear confrontation. Often with the need to people please and receive outside validation,…
Anger Management In Action: Relationship Blowups Can Be Costly
“Dr. Fiore,” the voice on the phone pleaded, “I need anger management classes right away. I blew up at my girlfriend last night and she said it’s over until I get help”. As Kevin recounted the first night of anger management class, he and his girlfriend had argued in the car over which route to…
Anger Management In Action: Forgiveness.Let the Past Go
Thirty-two year old Elizabeth cried during her anger management class as she related how one year ago her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered. She definitely had a legitimate grievance toward the hospital and the medical staff and felt that she…
Anger Management In Action: Three ways to Deal With A Passive-Aggressive
Thirty-three year old Roberto had promised his wife Tina that he would be home after work in time for her to attend her weekly “women’s group” at her church. Having only one automobile, Tina was completely at the mercy of Roberto’s promise. You guessed it! Roberto did not show up until 8:45 PM—way too late…
Anger Management In Action: Handling Anger on the Road
Anger on the road is seen everywhere! Could road anger be a medical condition? Headline: Road Rage may be due to medical condition called Intermittent Explosive Disorder. What is the science behind this? The study, reported in the June (2006) issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry was based on a national face-to-face survey of…
Anger Management In Action: In Trouble at Work?
Leroy’s Story Leroy was a superstar in the Real Estate business, producing three times the monthly business of his nearest coworker. He was a driven, highly competitive young man who saw his manager as getting in the way of even higher production. Tension turned to irritability. Yelling and shouting followed. On the day he was…
Do Anger Professionals Get Angry?
This is a common question that my clients either ask me, or want to ask me as they sit either in anger management class or in private consultation. The short answer is that yes, of course, anger management professionals get angry, like everyone else. But, hopefully the anger management professional uses his own teachings to manage his…
Control Your Anger – Self-Talk in Action
In our Anger Management Local Classes, as well as in our online programs, we teach participants the value of changing your “self-talk” in order to dial down those angry feelings triggered by any number of events in our world. The following story about a grandfather and his  spoiled out-of-control 3 year-old grandson illustrates this beautifully – and…
Financial Infidelity: Are you dishonest about money?
As the economy tightens, handling of finances in families is increasingly at the core of family fights and conflicts presented to therapists. Financial strain may greatly increase family stress which in turn affects all aspects of the relationship and family life. Even worse, is the introduction of what therapists are now calling “financial infidelity” –…
Dealing With Life Stress: Should We Use a Scale or a Broom?
This cartoon illustrates how stressful life can be, even in normal situations like family life. (By the way, if you enjoy mental health humor, visit (http://blogs.psychcentral.com/humor) for more.) In our anger management programs, we teach specific methods to handle stress as one of our anger control tools, because stress and anger are very much connected…