Can I Fall Back in Love After The Thrill is Gone?
Having been a therapist for over thirty years, I am always pleased to find new ways of helping couples. A few years ago, I discovered a treatment approach by Willard Harley that’s short term and practical. Combined with other techniques that I use, this approach has proven effective. Furthermore, it offers hope to relationships that…
Anger and couple finances: How to avoid financial infidelity
The most valuable thing in a long-term stable relationship is having a partnership, and most new couples don’t realize that money is a major factor in marital happiness. Money is one of the biggest generators of problems, arguments, and resentment in long-term relationships. Couples argue about spending, saving budgeting, and disparity in earnings. When couples…
Men: How to disarm an angry parter
According to famed therapist Terry Real, the short answer is: “To disarm an angry woman, give her what she needs.” To illustrate this point, let me introduce to 55 year-old Jerry who came to see me because his very angry (Linda) gave him the ultimatum of seeing a therapist or a divorce lawyer. (He had…
Orange County marriage counselor asks: Is your marriage worth saving?
The Story of Mary and Bill Mary and Bill were a nice couple empty nesters. Married 20 years, hey had built a nice life together. Their mortgage was low, their children were in college and doing well, most of the time they got along with each other fairly well. But one day Mary told Bill…
Angry at narcissistic husband? How to cope short of divorce!
Anger and partner narcissism: Betty and Jason Betty and Jason had been married for 5 years and were now being seen in couples therapy because of almost constant conflict. Jason saw the problem as “Betty’s anger” which he couldn’t cope with and caused him to completely emotionally shut down. He constantly threatened divorce lamenting that…
8 things you can do TODAY to prevent angry partner blowups
Spending so much time together in social isolation during the pandemic is bound to challenge the patience and coping skills of many partners. Fortunately, new technology has been developed to help you stay calm called “Gaze-Spotting” based on the original work of Dr. David Grand, developer of a technique called Brainspotting. STEP 1 : Walk…
Lovehacking: Quick fixes to improve your marriage or relationship
How Love-Hacks can give your marriage a tune-up To fix a truly troubled marriage takes much effort and commitment. But, many marriages or relationships just need a tune-up. One psychologist, Dr. Eli Finkel, calls these “Lovehacks” in his new and very well-researched and well-thought-out book “The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work.” Lovehacks provide…
How to reduce resentment toward your partner – even if your partner won’t change!
Do You Have Resentment In Your Marriage? Mary, age 40, came to see me recently for a consultation on how she could improve her marriage and deal with an angry husband who refused to see a marriage therapist. She was extremely resentful, unhappy and depressed. She had tried “everything” to get her husband to change-…
My husband and I never fight: How can we still have an anger problem?
The Marriage of Stacy and William Married 30 years, from the outside looking in they have a perfect marriage. They never disagree with each other. They rarely conflict. They hold hands in public. They are always civil to each other in public. Behind closed doors, however, there is a different story. While they dine together,…
Partner Anger May Be Improved by Better Sleep Habits
How sleep issues can affect anger expression in couples and negatively affect relationships and communication? Sleep is probably the most underrated of habits that impact health and wellbeing. A lack of sleep the night before is enough to leave us tired, grumpy and fed up for the rest of the day. Getting the right amount of…
Five tips for preventing resentment from ruining your marriage
When you and your spouse hit rough times, it seems that no matter what you do, things get worse. You blame your spouse; your spouse blames you and nothing changes. Out of desperation, you eventually step back from your situation and try to think more clearly. And thankfully, when you aren’t mired in the muck,…
Needing to be Right- A Sure-Fire Losing Strategy for Partner Communication
When I was a young psychologist, I recall a young woman in my practice who was very upset because men simply didn’t see her as very feminine and treated her like “one of the guys,” instead of like a “girl” as she deeply desired. I asked for an example of what she meant.”The other night…
How To Accept Disturbing Thoughts
Many people have disturbing and even horrifying thoughts. These thoughts are not based in reality, yet cause us to react as if they are indeed real. Others can’t stop thinking about the possibility of losing control and even harming someone. You may worry about making irreparable mistakes.These obsessive thoughts can be very disturbing if you…
Puffy Gets Angry. Illustrated parental guide for parents of young children.
This delightful children’s book is designed to provide a guide for adults to helps young kids learn how to manage their anger. It is written by Dr. Rich Pfeffer, (recognized anger management expert) and Susie Post Roberts and is endorsed by the National Anger Management Association. The most difficult part of anger for anybody to…
We Now Offer Teletherapy During the Covid-19 Crisis
Hello Everyone, I hope you all are well and adjusting to all the new stresses that are suddenly upon us. In some cases, being at home with each other has been a positive experience. In other cases, not so much. At any rate, here are some resources to help you: How To Cope With Anxiety…
Angry because your partner just won’t change? Try a fresh approach.
Aaron and MaryAaron and Mary have been married 23 years. She is often angry. He is a very gentle soul who has a lifestyle admired by many. He has a lot of money, he “works” by playing golf 2-3 times a week while courting new clients, he has a gorgeous loyal wife and two beautiful…