Who Invited Anger to the Party?
Sitting at my computer this morning, staring at a blank page, I began toying with an idea. This quickly took form in my imagination, and I wanted to share it with you. I was thinking: What would it look like if our emotions, such as happiness, love, and joy, were real people? Picture our fictional…
Can Personal Values Differences Destroy a Relationship?
You bet they do. Often the seeds of destruction are in the relationship the moment you meet even though it my take many years for it to actually die. Famous marital researcher Dr John Gottman teaches and trains therapists as follows: “It’s a myth that if you solve your problems you’ll automatically be happy. We…
Successful Couples Repair Conflict
Let’s face it. All couples fight. In successful relationships as well as others. Having fights is not necessarily a sign that your relationship is doomed to failure. If all couples fight, What then makes the difference between successful vs unsuccessful relationships? Simply put, one major difference is having the skills and ability to repair the…
Couples Conflict – The Dance of Anger
Jim and Sally have been married for 10 years. They argue so much that friends invite them for dinner a lot because they provide the evening’s entertainment with their bickering and constant conflict. Their arguments are over many of the same issues over and over again. They just seem to trigger angry responses in each…
Anger Management Class is a big step for some
It is a huge step for some people to commit to an anger management class. Recently we had one fellow who was angry because he had to attend anger nursing courses. He shared that he came early, circled the building and then drove away, deciding that he was too angry to walk up the stairs…
Anger Class 101: Silence is an Anger Management Tool
They say that silence is golden. Tell that to Sally and Jim who argue constantly and fight like cats and dogs over almost every issue. Both are highly successful, intelligent and verbal so there is no end to issues over which to fight. If perchance they do run out of issues temporarily, they creatively start…
Are You An Anger Hypocrite?
There are many definitions of a hypocrite, but the one that I wish to discuss in this blog is a person who professes one thing but does another. The hypocrite imposes standards on others to which his or her own behavior does not comply. The Anger Hypocrite One specific type of hypocrite that I often…
Anger Management: Learn to Diffuse The Angry Emotion
Anger is one of the core emotions or feelings that human beings are hard-wired to experience whenever they are blocked from achieving a goal they have or an end result they wish to achieve. Anger Management is the process of learning how to deal with anger as a core emotion. Everybody feels anger from time…
Six Parental Tips For Your Angry Children
It was labor day when 8 year old Brandon’s mother heard a commotion from her childs room. Seems that his 14 year old visiting cousin said something that upset Brandon which caused Brandon to strike the other boy. His mother Michelle hysterically called her therapist wondering what to do and how to handle the anger…
Anger Management In Action: Let sleeping dogs lie?
“How did your week go, Samuel?” I asked my married patient who consulted me for anger management and anger management skills to deal with his wife. “Much better,” he replied, “because I kept my mouth shut this time when I desperately wanted to argue with her because I knew I was right. I decided to…
Anger Management In Action: Relationship Blowups Can Be Costly
“Dr. Fiore,” the voice on the phone pleaded, “I need anger management classes right away. I blew up at my girlfriend last night and she said it’s over until I get help”. As Kevin recounted the first night of anger management class, he and his girlfriend had argued in the car over which route to…
Anger Management in Action: Think Like An Optimist
Friends Jane and Anthony have very different ways of viewing the world. Jane is a pessimist (“the glass is half-empty”) while Anthony is an optimist (“the glass is half-full”). As you will see, Anthony has better anger management skills because of his optimism. Let’s compare how they think about similar life experiences: Scenario 1: A…
Anger Management In Action: Need More Respect From Your Family?
Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always feeling angry and used by her family, constantly saying that everybody took advantage of her. She felt that she worked like a slave but her family showed no appreciation or acknowledgment of her many efforts. She needed anger management to help deal with her feelings….
Anger Management In Action: Forgiveness.Let the Past Go
Thirty-two year old Elizabeth cried during her anger management class as she related how one year ago her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered. She definitely had a legitimate grievance toward the hospital and the medical staff and felt that she…
Anger Management In Action: Three ways to Deal With A Passive-Aggressive
Thirty-three year old Roberto had promised his wife Tina that he would be home after work in time for her to attend her weekly “women’s group” at her church. Having only one automobile, Tina was completely at the mercy of Roberto’s promise. You guessed it! Roberto did not show up until 8:45 PM—way too late…
Anger Management In Action: Handling Anger on the Road
Anger on the road is seen everywhere! Could road anger be a medical condition? Headline: Road Rage may be due to medical condition called Intermittent Explosive Disorder. What is the science behind this? The study, reported in the June (2006) issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry was based on a national face-to-face survey of…
Anger Management In Action: In Trouble at Work?
Leroy’s Story Leroy was a superstar in the Real Estate business, producing three times the monthly business of his nearest coworker. He was a driven, highly competitive young man who saw his manager as getting in the way of even higher production. Tension turned to irritability. Yelling and shouting followed. On the day he was…
Angry Over Power Struggles in Your Relationship?
A young angry misguided soul sat in one of our anger management classes dejected. The instructor asked why he was there. He said that his wife was angry over his not putting the toilet seat down after his use. Other class members looked at him incredulously and remarked: “you spent all this money on an…
Anger Management In Action: Try Simple Habit Changes
Thirty one year old Harry is a fairly typical client in our local anger management classes. At work he is considered a very nice man, a lamb, really. By his co=workers, he would be voted last place on a list of people who needed anger management. But his wife Holly tells a different story. She…
Was Jesus Ever Angry?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all readers. I write this from lovely Sante Fe, New Mexico while looking our at the majestic mountains and thinking about life and the role of anger in our lives. Then, I came across this article. while surfing the net. Although we do not teach anger management from…
Do You Display Defensive Anger? Three New Strategies to Deal with Verbal Attacks!
Doc, the new client said, I am not an angry guy. I only get angry when people piss me off. The rest of the time I am fine This humorous interchange occurs often in our anger management classes. We gently explain that, of course, it is much easier to stay calm and rational when nobody…