The Anger-Damage effect on your heart: Guest blog from Dr Alan Levy
THE ANGER-DAMAGE EFFECT ON YOUR HEART Guest Article by By Alan Levy, Ph.D. How does anger do its damage and contribute to heart trouble? In this brief article, I explain the physiological and psychological mechanisms that are problematic ways of handling frustration and anger. I also present 8 helpful hints to better manage negative emotions…
ANGRY AT YOUR PARTNER? Think Again!
Literally, think again. And then think about what you are thinking about- especially around anger issues. As famous psychologist William James said over 100 years ago: “Man can alter his life by altering his thinking.” The case of Sally and Jim Sally and Jim sat in my office glaring at each other. Sally told a…
Men: How to disarm an angry parter
According to famed therapist Terry Real, the short answer is: “To disarm an angry woman, give her what she needs.” To illustrate this point, let me introduce to 55 year-old Jerry who came to see me because his very angry (Linda) gave him the ultimatum of seeing a therapist or a divorce lawyer. (He had…
Controlled separation – How to give your troubled marriage oxygen without divorce
Many couples in a troubled marriage or relationship don’t really want to get a divorce, and they don’t want to go through marriage counseling right now (or they tried it and it didn’t help), so what are they to do? The answer is an option that many couples find appealing – something called a “Controlled…
Angry because your partner just won’t change? Try a fresh approach.
Aaron and MaryAaron and Mary have been married 23 years. She is often angry. He is a very gentle soul who has a lifestyle admired by many. He has a lot of money, he “works” by playing golf 2-3 times a week while courting new clients, he has a gorgeous loyal wife and two beautiful…
How To Deal With a Passive-Aggressive Partner
HOW TO DEAL WITH A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE PARTNER Husband- When I got mad at you, you never fight back, How do you control your anger?Wife- I clean the toilet.Husband-How does that help?Wife- I use your toothbrush As this little vignette illustrates, passive-aggression is a way to get even at someone behind their back, often without…
New Discernment Counseling for Couples On the Brink
Up to 40% of people who divorce wish they hadn’t done so. Yet, many of these people say they tried “everything”,including couples therapy, but to no avail. Why doesn’t couples therapy,even done by experienced and competent therapists prevent breakup more of the time? One reason is that both partners and the therapist often don’t have…
Can Personal Values Differences Destroy a Relationship?
You bet they do. Often the seeds of destruction are in the relationship the moment you meet even though it my take many years for it to actually die. Famous marital researcher Dr John Gottman teaches and trains therapists as follows: “It’s a myth that if you solve your problems you’ll automatically be happy. We…
Successful Couples Repair Conflict
Let’s face it. All couples fight. In successful relationships as well as others. Having fights is not necessarily a sign that your relationship is doomed to failure. If all couples fight, What then makes the difference between successful vs unsuccessful relationships? Simply put, one major difference is having the skills and ability to repair the…
Anger Management In Action: Stop yelling At Your Kids
I hate to hear parents screaming at their kids. Why? Because it doesn’t work! It creates a bad feeling between parent and child! It makes the “yeller” look very bad socially (if done in public). It encourages “push back” from the yelled-at child. Did I mention that it doesn’t work? Anger Management is an important…
Promotional Video for Marriage and Couples Therapy in Newport Beach
I just posted a new promotional video that I had created announcing my new location in Newport Beach California. In addition to providing marriage and couples therapy at this new location, I can also provide my services to people all over the world with Skype. It is my hope that I can help improve the…
Want to feel less angry toward your partner? Create Couple Bubble
Want to feel less angry toward your partner? While almost all couples get angry at each other, research shows that this does not necessarily mean that your relationship is in trouble. The trouble comes from not knowing the root of the anger, how to deal with that anger, how to communicate it, and how to…
Are You An Anger Hypocrite?
There are many definitions of a hypocrite, but the one that I wish to discuss in this blog is a person who professes one thing but does another. The hypocrite imposes standards on others to which his or her own behavior does not comply. The Anger Hypocrite One specific type of hypocrite that I often…
Anger Management in Action; Setting Realistic Expectations
How high should you set the bar for yourself or others in term of what you expect? This was a recent discussion topic brought up by Robert in a recent fast-track anger management seminar that we held in Newport Beach, California. Set the bar too high and the gap between what you expect and what…
Six Parental Tips For Your Angry Children
It was labor day when 8 year old Brandon’s mother heard a commotion from her childs room. Seems that his 14 year old visiting cousin said something that upset Brandon which caused Brandon to strike the other boy. His mother Michelle hysterically called her therapist wondering what to do and how to handle the anger…
Anger Management In Action: Relationship Blowups Can Be Costly
“Dr. Fiore,” the voice on the phone pleaded, “I need anger management classes right away. I blew up at my girlfriend last night and she said it’s over until I get help”. As Kevin recounted the first night of anger management class, he and his girlfriend had argued in the car over which route to…
Anger Management In Action: Forgiveness.Let the Past Go
Thirty-two year old Elizabeth cried during her anger management class as she related how one year ago her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered. She definitely had a legitimate grievance toward the hospital and the medical staff and felt that she…
Anger Management In Action: Three ways to Deal With A Passive-Aggressive
Thirty-three year old Roberto had promised his wife Tina that he would be home after work in time for her to attend her weekly “women’s group” at her church. Having only one automobile, Tina was completely at the mercy of Roberto’s promise. You guessed it! Roberto did not show up until 8:45 PM—way too late…
Anger Management In Action: Handling Anger on the Road
Anger on the road is seen everywhere! Could road anger be a medical condition? Headline: Road Rage may be due to medical condition called Intermittent Explosive Disorder. What is the science behind this? The study, reported in the June (2006) issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry was based on a national face-to-face survey of…
Anger Management In Action: In Trouble at Work?
Leroy’s Story Leroy was a superstar in the Real Estate business, producing three times the monthly business of his nearest coworker. He was a driven, highly competitive young man who saw his manager as getting in the way of even higher production. Tension turned to irritability. Yelling and shouting followed. On the day he was…
Angry Over Power Struggles in Your Relationship?
A young angry misguided soul sat in one of our anger management classes dejected. The instructor asked why he was there. He said that his wife was angry over his not putting the toilet seat down after his use. Other class members looked at him incredulously and remarked: “you spent all this money on an…