Anger Management in Action; Setting Realistic Expectations
How high should you set the bar for yourself or others in term of what you expect? This was a recent discussion topic brought up by Robert in a recent fast-track anger management seminar that we held in Newport Beach, California. Set the bar too high and the gap between what you expect and what…
Six Parental Tips For Your Angry Children
It was labor day when 8 year old Brandon’s mother heard a commotion from her childs room. Seems that his 14 year old visiting cousin said something that upset Brandon which caused Brandon to strike the other boy. His mother Michelle hysterically called her therapist wondering what to do and how to handle the anger…
Anger Management In Action: Let sleeping dogs lie?
“How did your week go, Samuel?” I asked my married patient who consulted me for anger management and anger management skills to deal with his wife. “Much better,” he replied, “because I kept my mouth shut this time when I desperately wanted to argue with her because I knew I was right. I decided to…
Anger Management In Action: Relationship Blowups Can Be Costly
“Dr. Fiore,” the voice on the phone pleaded, “I need anger management classes right away. I blew up at my girlfriend last night and she said it’s over until I get help”. As Kevin recounted the first night of anger management class, he and his girlfriend had argued in the car over which route to…
Anger Management in Action: Think Like An Optimist
Friends Jane and Anthony have very different ways of viewing the world. Jane is a pessimist (“the glass is half-empty”) while Anthony is an optimist (“the glass is half-full”). As you will see, Anthony has better anger management skills because of his optimism. Let’s compare how they think about similar life experiences: Scenario 1: A…
Anger Management In Action: Need More Respect From Your Family?
Case #1- Elizabeth, a 40 year old homemaker was always feeling angry and used by her family, constantly saying that everybody took advantage of her. She felt that she worked like a slave but her family showed no appreciation or acknowledgment of her many efforts. She needed anger management to help deal with her feelings….
Anger Management In Action: Forgiveness.Let the Past Go
Thirty-two year old Elizabeth cried during her anger management class as she related how one year ago her 19-month-old girl was permanently brain-damaged as the result of medical error at the hospital in which she was delivered. She definitely had a legitimate grievance toward the hospital and the medical staff and felt that she…
Anger Management In Action: Three ways to Deal With A Passive-Aggressive
Thirty-three year old Roberto had promised his wife Tina that he would be home after work in time for her to attend her weekly “women’s group” at her church. Having only one automobile, Tina was completely at the mercy of Roberto’s promise. You guessed it! Roberto did not show up until 8:45 PM—way too late…
Anger Management In Action: Handling Anger on the Road
Anger on the road is seen everywhere! Could road anger be a medical condition? Headline: Road Rage may be due to medical condition called Intermittent Explosive Disorder. What is the science behind this? The study, reported in the June (2006) issue of the Archives of General Psychiatry was based on a national face-to-face survey of…
Anger Management In Action: In Trouble at Work?
Leroy’s Story Leroy was a superstar in the Real Estate business, producing three times the monthly business of his nearest coworker. He was a driven, highly competitive young man who saw his manager as getting in the way of even higher production. Tension turned to irritability. Yelling and shouting followed. On the day he was…
Angry Over Power Struggles in Your Relationship?
A young angry misguided soul sat in one of our anger management classes dejected. The instructor asked why he was there. He said that his wife was angry over his not putting the toilet seat down after his use. Other class members looked at him incredulously and remarked: “you spent all this money on an…
Anger Management In Action: Try Simple Habit Changes
Thirty one year old Harry is a fairly typical client in our local anger management classes. At work he is considered a very nice man, a lamb, really. By his co=workers, he would be voted last place on a list of people who needed anger management. But his wife Holly tells a different story. She…
Resentment Blocks Love and Closeness
Resentment: “Bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly” I learned about resentment when I was sixteen years old and basically had two things on my mind. The second thing was getting a car. I saw myself as a responsible boy who earned good grades, was no trouble to anybody and basically had a clean record….
Anger Management As a Business- A Personal Journey
People often ask how I got into anger management. Actually, the truth is that ten years ago I was looking for a supplemental mental health business to my clinical practice that was cash-based, so I wouldn’t have to rely on unstable insurance payments for my livelihood, I found it necessary to acquire private health insurance….
Anger Management Classes: How We Teach Empathy
Through he years, I have asked our anger management class participants what they expected class to be like before they actually came. Thought I’d share some of the responses I have received: “Anger Management Class is like traffic school.” “Like a support group therapy for angry people.” “Full of convicts and criminals.” “In anger management…
Anger Management in Action: How Can I Be More Patient?
Meet 25 year old Julia who came to our local anger management class for help with the question “How can I be more patient?” Seems that Julia was constantly irritated with other people.She tried not to be, but her impatience and irritability constantly leaked out with her body language, her attitude, and her sarcasm. She…
Anger Management in Action: Forgiving an Affair
Affair recovery is a complex process for both partners. Rage and anger after discovery of an affair is normal; successful affair recovery requires mastery of basic tools of anger management, including the tool of forgiveness.
Anger Management and sex: When a cigar is just a cigar……..
I first met Jim on a Friday morning in my office with his wife Sally. They consulted me for mostly because Jim seemed always irritated with Sally. No matter what she did, he was mad. He had no patience with her. She was ready to call it quits because she said she was tired of…
Was Jesus Ever Angry?
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all readers. I write this from lovely Sante Fe, New Mexico while looking our at the majestic mountains and thinking about life and the role of anger in our lives. Then, I came across this article. while surfing the net. Although we do not teach anger management from…
Angry Mothers: Learn Mindfulness. Then Teach It To Your Children!
The Problem “I can’t deal with my own children,” lamented a young mother in one of our anger management classes.“They won’t listen, they do exactly what they want, they constantly fight with each other, and they won’t do their chores without a major argument.” This young mother was ashamed that she was constantly angry at…
Anger Management in Action: Increase Your Emotional Intelligence
Anger Management requires eight core skills, one of which is emotional intelligence. Those with high emotional intelligence have empathy for their partner, are sensitive to how their behavior is affecting their partner and practices different responses to their partner’s upset to increase understanding and emotional connection.