How to develop cognitive empathy
When we practice cognitive empathy in our marriage, we learn to look at the world from our partner’s perspective. In essence, we are imagining what it might be like to be our partner in her/his life situation. Cognitive empathy is also referred to as perspective-taking or the skill of putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes,…
Why J.A.D.E. doesn’t work to resolve conflict with your partner
What is JADE? It is an acronym for the ineffective tactics of Justifying, Arguing, Defending or Explaining to resolve conflict. It is a term borrowed from psychiatrist and team-cognitive-behavioral guru Dr David Burns. Here is what it means J – Justifying your actions. “I might have done that, but you also did….” Justifying is a…
Dealing with Stress
Stress is often the trigger that exacerbates anger in individuals. Many people suffer from a variety of life situations that influence their ability to maintain healthy relationships – but this does not have to be the case! I have helped many people over the years to deal with stress better in their lives. In this…
How to Tank Your Relationship Part 2 or: How to Cope With Couple Anger Better
All relationships deal with anger to one extent or another and the success of a relationship doesn’t necessarily depend on the amount of anger in a relationship. Research suggests that many successful couples deal with anger from one or both partners – so it’s not the necessarily expression of anger that causes issues in relationships….
Change Your Self Talk For Better Anger Control
Self talk is what you tell yourself about the things that happen to you in life. Many times anger can be managed successfully by changing this self talk. Anger in life is normal and there are many things that trigger anger in our modern world. Most of these things we cannot control – but we…
How To Tank Your Relationship – Part I
Many couples struggle with one or both partners exhibiting less desirable traits that are perceived as selfish, uncaring, misguided or just plain wrong. Research has shown however that many couples can survive – and even thrive – in a relationship where one or both partners have these negative traits. Surprisingly, it is not the traits…
3 Methods to Disarm an Angry Wife
Many men today lack the skills needed to give their wives and partners what they need in a relationship. Much of this is due to the fact that the roles women traditionally played in relationships has changed over the last several decades and some men have not yet learned how to care for the women…
5 Ways to Respond Instead of React
When we react to something, we do it automatically but when we respond to something – that requires thoughtful consideration and deliberate decision making. When I teach people how to manage their anger, the tool “Respond Instead of React” is most helpful as it shows people that they have the power to control their response…
Peace at any Price – Jeffrey’s story
Many people in relationships are averse to conflict and confrontation which is why some people choose to adopt the “peace at any price” approach to dealing with relationship issues. While this tactic can avert direct confrontation in the moment – it often delays the inevitable. Coping with your partners disrespect for long periods of time…
4 Strategies to Forgive and Accept Wrongs by a Partner
Whether you are actively in a relationship or not, learning to forgive is an incredibly important skill to have and hold successful, long term relationships. We all make mistakes and when the hurt from these mistakes cut deep, our ability to forgive is essential not just for the person who hurt us, but for our…
The 5 Levels of Passive Aggressive Behavior
Passive aggressive behavior does not alternate between passive behavior and aggressive behavior, but rather combines them simultaneously into one behavior that is really irritating and confounding to other people. In this video I walk you through the 5 levels of a Passive Aggressive person and simple examples of each behavior for you to recognize. The…
Dealing with perpetual issues
Relationship research has revealed that a high percentage of relationship issues are unsolvable. These are often called “Perpetual Issues”. Every relationship has these unresolvable issues – but the key difference between successful couples is how they handle these issues. Learn a basic principle in how successful couples manage to deal with perpetual issues and how…
6 Methods to communicate assertively
Assertive communication helps people – whether they are in relationships or not – experience better interpersonal outcomes. In this video, I will help you understand what assertive communication means, and I provide 6 simple ways to implement assertive communication tools in your life. Improve your relationships with others whether they be friends, family, workmates or…
Married to a narcissist? 3 steps for survival.
Learn 3 crucial steps to be able to live with a narcissist. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist and feel that it is worthwhile staying in the relationship, I provide 5 additional tips on how you can work around the type of narcissist you may be involved with. Not all narcissists are…
Anger and sex – 5 tips to help couples
As a practicing psychologist and marriage therapist, I often encounter clients who are angry because they suffer sexual frustration in their marriage or relationship. Anger is sometimes a secondary emotion, meaning that there is something underneath it which triggers it. Often that “something” is sexual frustration. In this video I will help you to understand…
Is humor a remedy for anger?
In this video, learn how you can dissolve anger using humor. I provide 4 easy to implement techniques for humour-challenged people so that you can reduce anger, stress and frustration in your every day life. Learn why it is important to not take yourself so seriously and how simple techniques for finding humor in stressful…
Empathy and you
Learn the basics of empathy and what it is. Learn what the 4 core aspects of empathy are. Learn how best to deal with challenges in your relationship where empathy will help to resolve. Understand what empathy is, what it involves and practical ways to put empathy into practice in everyday life. You can find…
What is cognitive empathy
Learn ways to look at things from the perspective of your partner – putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. Seeing things from the point of view of your partner is much harder when you don’t agree with the idea or concept which is why it is such a crucial tool in improving relationships. Watch the…
What is empathy?
Empathy is a crucial tool for healthy relationships whether they be friendships or romantic relationships. If you want to learn more about how you can develop a stronger sense of empathy in your relationship I’ve put together a 14-page report that’s FREE. You can learn the valuable tools needed to repair your relationship through the…
What is Discernment Counseling?
When a one or more partners in a relationship struggle with the question; do we make it work, break up or decide later – then Discernment Counseling is for you. Learn how this process works even if only one person in the relationship is willing to participate. The goal is NOT to solve your relationship…
Are you married to a narcissist?
What can you do if you discover that you may be married to a narcissist? Learn about the 2 different types of narcissism that people can exhibit and how to spot the identifiers for each of them. Learn about how destructive vulnerable narcissists can be in a relationship and why it is important to protect…