Quick Anger Tip #27 – Avoid Communicating with Contempt
Contempt is a communication style of regarding someone or something as inferior or less-than. In effect, we look down on them. Even worse, sometimes it means treating others with scorn as if we regard them as worthless. When we are treated with contempt by others we feel despised, dishonored, or disgraced. In marriage or relationships,…
Quick Anger Tip # 26- Try Not To Stonewall
Stonewalling is a term used by some marital researchers to describe how partners in a relationship emotionally shut-down when upset, angry or hurt by their spouse. If done excessively, it is a predictor of divorce or relationship breakup. Stonewalling is often thought to occur more frequently among men than women, but sometimes women do it…
Quick Tip 25 – Be Less Critical
Too much criticism in a relationship is one of the predictors of marital divorce. Too much criticism also disrupts numerous other relationships such as child-parent, neighbor-neighbor, and employer-employee. It is OK to complain or even to criticize constructively and nicely, but mean-spirited criticism meant to degrade, express hostility, or control others is destructive to almost…
Anger Tip 24 – Avoid defensiveness when relating to others
Psychological defensiveness can be defined as an emotion where one displays an excessive rejection of criticism. Defensiveness is predictor of martial divorce because it prevents a person from receiving honest feedback from others – feedback that would be useful in resolving conflict or promoting closeness. The defensive person rarely takes personal responsibility for an issue…
Quick Anger Tip 23 – Never Marry Potential
We often get angry at our spouses because they don’t live up to our expectations. Angry people often assume that their disappointment is due almost entirely to the poor of inadequate behavior or performance of the other person. Actually, the disappointment can also be caused by your misguided expectations of the other person or the…
Quick Anger Tip 22- Husbands Need Roadmap
Wives often become angry at their husbands because their husbands do not respond emotionally or in behavior to their complaints. Husbands, on the other hand, often confess that they don’t respond sometimes because it is not clear to them what the “right” answer or response is. It is our experience in anger management classes that…
Quick Anger Tip 21 – Protect self from passive-aggressive people
Passive-aggressive behavior is a communication style that is very difficult to deal with. Persons who communicate in this way are often stubborn, they obstruct goals while denying they are doing so, they procrastinate, and they are often sullen. They agree to everything, yet accomplish almost nothing they agree to, while blaming outside events for their…
Increase in Family Business Anger Noted
Getting along with each other in a family business is no small feat. We have noticed a definite increase in referrals for anger and stress management in smaller family-owned businesses, especially second generation ones, or first generation businesses that are in the process of succession. The on-the-job outbursts can range from irritating to deadly. One…
Quick Anger Tip 20 – Develop clear vision of your intent or purpose
Often we become angry or resentful because we lose sight of the bigger picture. For instance, with our children, we may see only their negative behavior, forgetting your broader parenting intent such as having a close relationship with your children, helping them develop a mind of their own, or helping them develop into responsible human…
Quick Anger Tip 19 – Raise your mood before dealing with an anger trigger
It is a known psychological fact that the level of your mood determines the perception you have of your world. In a high mood you see the best fat burner for women world one way: In a low mood, you may see the exact same thing quite differently. To better manage your anger, try to…
Quick Anger Tip 18 – Don’t let others ring your bell
The famous Russian psychologist Pavlov started an experiment by putting food before hungry dogs. Only problem was there was a barrier between the dogs and the food. Result? All the dogs begin salivating. He then continued the experiment by ringing a bell, and then presenting the food. Again, the dogs salivated. In a third part…
Quick Anger Tip 17 – Develop a silver tongue
Some people just seem to antagonize those around them even if they don’t mean to. They say things in a way that causes others to “push back” often with resistance or anger of their own. Words are powerful. Have you ever heard the expression that the pen is mightier than the sword? Sometimes words can…
Quick Anger Tip 16 – Notify your face if NOT angry
Body language often reveals feelings or emotions we are having that we want to conceal or that we don’t even realize we are having. Our face has hundreds of muscles that combine to reveal what is going on emotionally with us. Others see these facial expressions and often respond to them, even if our words…
Quick Anger Tip 15 – Put a smile in your voice
Many people come across as angry to others even though they deny that they are actually angry. Sometimes, this may be due to not being aware of how angry you actually are. (You are angry, but don’t realize it, or you don’t want to admit it) Alternatively, the problem may be that your body language…
Quick Anger Tip 14 – Listen to improve understanding
Sometimes,we become angry toward other people because we we don’t understand them and don’t understand how they can do or not do things we consider stupid, irrational, and misguided. Empathy is the skill of seeing the world from the other person’s point of view, even if you don’t agree with it. Things often make a…
Quick Anger Tip 13 – Remind self that things don’t have to go your way
Some people are legends in their own minds. They convince themselves that they are the center of the universe which should revolve around their desires and needs. If you think this way, you will generate tons of anger when even common every-day things occur in your life. As an alternative, remind yourself that things don’t…
Quick Anger Tip 12 – With kids, calmly deliver consequences to behavior
Parents often get exasperated with their children and handle their feelings by yelling or shouting threats that are non-enforceable. Much better to calmly deliver consequences to behavior. Why? Because it is much more effective. To understand this concept, image the following scenario. You are speeding in your car, perhaps going 50 miles an hour in…
Quick Anger Tip 11 – Talk from your heart
Anger is a form of communication. Like all forms of communication, we are trying to get something when we get angry. Usually, what we are trying to get is: To change someone else To get another person to do something we want them to. To get our own way To be heard or to be…
Quick Anger Tip 10 – Don’t yell at your children; offer choices
More and more mothers and fathers are coming to anger management classes due to anger toward their children. Some parents feel they can’t cope with their small children while others report angst with their teenagers. Most good parents feel guilty when they experience negative emotions toward their children. Yet, it is very common. The typical…
Quick Anger Tip 9 – You can like people you don’t agree with
People are complex. Relationships are complex. Many times we can strongly disagree with someone’s beliefs but still like them as a person. The best example of this is the relationship between the late Rev. Jerry Falwell and Larry Flynt. Rev. Falwell was, of course, head of the Moral Majority political movement and Larry Flynn is…
New Mothers May Need Anger Management
A recent trend seen in anger management clients is that of young mothers seeking skills to deal with anger and frustration experienced in parenting their children. Under much stress, these mothers find themselves “blowing up” at normal childhood behavior and not having the tolerance and patience they would like. In fact, some recent parenting books…