Share Expectations to Decrease Conflict and Anger
John and Sarah spent The New Year holiday season in Las Vegas where they had hoped to have a relaxed time with little tension. Things went well until they decided to stop at a retail outlet mall in the way home which was attached to a casino. Both agreed they would “stop at the mall”…
Dealing with anger over job loss
I have been receiving calls lately from people experiencing a great deal of anger over recent job loss due to the deteriorating economy in the United States. They are asking how they should deal their angry feelings and what advice I might have to help them cope with what is usually experienced as very scary and…
Express appreciation to resolve conflicts
Anger often results from failure to resolve conflicts with other people. This includes many diverse situations such as couples conflict, parent-child conflict, workplace conflict or company-client conflict. Expressing appreciation is an important ingredient in fixing people problems, according to Harvard researchers Fisher and Shapiro who wrote a really helpful little book called “Beyond Reason……Using emotions…
Stimulate positive emotions to resolve conflicts
Mental health professionals have discovered an important principal that should be used when attempting to resolve conflicts or settle disputes with others. Simply put, conflicts can resolved more successfully when reason and emotion are taken into account. To try to solve an emotional issue with logic alone is often very ineffective and frustrating. We are…
Angry people often try to control the uncontrollable
Much anger in the world is generated by people trying to control or change other people who do not wish to be controlled or changed. Rather than thinking in terms of control, think instead of other methods of influencing others such as: persuading, educating, rewarding, enticing, compromising, being a positive role model, advising, urging or…
Use humor and laughter to diffuse anger
Humor is a powerful strategy to lower your stress level, dissolve anger and give you new ways to view situations and thus new ways to respond. Often mood is elevated just in the process of striving to find humor in difficult and frustrating situations. Laughing at ourselves and the situation helps reveal that small things…
Understanding marriage behavior doesn’t solve problems
Often couples spend hoiur after hour trying to understand each other or the root of a problem or issue that bothers them. Sometimes this is helpful, but more often than not, understanding a marital issue doesn’t necessarily provide the tools to change it. Take the case of Karen who become terrified every time husband Ted…
Treat spouse as you would a friend
As an experienced marriage therapist as well as anger management trainer, I am often amazed at how badly people in relationship treat each other in comparison to how they treat their co-workers or same-sex friends. Things sometimes get to the point of contempt, which is a major predictor of divorce, according to recent research the…
Dr Fiore to present free webinar
Dr. Tony Fiore, The Anger Coach, has partnered with The Self Help School to teach the eight tools of anger control in a distance learning format. Beginning Thursday, October 30, 2008 with a free introduction of how to apply the eight tools of anger control at home and at work, Dr. Fiore will then present…
Poor Anger Control is Bad For Society
Extreme conflict, violence, and intolerance are all anger-based social issues that greatly affect marriages, families, children, the workplace, and entire cultures. Take the fact that it is estimated that between 2.3 million and 10 million children are exposed to intimate partner violence (parents fighting) each year in the United States alone. Or the fact that…
Workplace anger – how to deal with changing standards
Bill sat in anger management class and lamented how the world had changed. He was an oil man with 30 years experience, but was in deep trouble with his employer because he yelled at employees. Asked why, he said “because they don’t work or they don’t do it right.” He continued, “I feel like a…
Do the eight tools help with anger toward self?
Most of our writings concern people who have anger toward others. But, I recently received an email from someone who said he never gets mad at other people – only himself. He was wondering if the eight tools can be applied in that situation. The answer is a resounding YES. Even anger toward other people…
Angry Men Need To Be Kinder To Self
Law Professor Carl Sanborn knows all about anger in men and has written a fascinating new book about it. Some very interesting ideas: “The sad fact is that both boys and girls are warped by societal expectations” – by what Sandborn calls ‘patriarchy’. “I know, all red-blooded men cringe when they hear that word, patriarchy,” says…
Anger Vs. Happiness
What is emotional happiness? Can people predict how happy they will be in the future? When people look back at their lives, do they regret inactions or actions more? These and many other questions are answered in a fascinating best seller by Harvard Professor Daniel Gilbert titled “Stumbling on Happiness.” The answer to the first…
Forgiveness core tool of anger management
Do you believe in forgiveness or revenge? or both, depending on the circumstances? That was the topic this evening in our anger management class held in Orange, California. The topic brings out many conflicting emotions in participants, as all admitted to struggling with the concept of forgiveness and letting go of grievances. Research shows that…
Anger Tool #3: Respond Instead of React
The Anger Coach, with Century Anger Management, had developed a unique and acclaimed model of anger management called the “Eight Tools” model. Tool #3 is “Respond instead of React” meaning that human beings have the unique ability to decide and make choices how to deal with anger triggers in their world. This means we have…
Anger Coach Offers Conflict Resolution Program For Couples
The Anger Coach is now offering a special program to help couples resolve relationship conflict. It is for new couples, couples who need relationship enhancement, and high conflict couples near divorce. The Keeping Love Alive program by Michelle Weiner-Davis will be offered as a six-hour program (two Saturday mornings) in Orange, California. Dr. Fiore, psychologist…
Anger Coach Online Offers Discount To Deployed Military Personnel
August 2, 2008 Dr. Tony Fiore, owner of Anger Coach Online, a leading web-based anger management program, announced today his company will be providing 1/2 price discounts to active military people who are struggling with anger issues, or anticipate that they will have issues when they return home. This is in response to numerous military…
Do most men want to please women?
The answer may be “yes”, according to a new book titled “How to improve your marriage without talking about It” by Doctors Pat Love and Steven Stosney. These authors argue that the human brain is more socially structured than that of any other animal, and there are gender differences in how the human brain works….
Avoidance of Conflict Predicts Divorce
Did you know that the number of predictor of divorce is the habitual avoidance of conflict? According to new research discussed on website www.smartmarriage.com, successful couples are those who know how to discuss differences in ways that actually strengthen their relationship and improves intimacy. Successful couples know how to contain their disagreements. That is, they…
Anger Coach Online Now Provides Ebook of Course Material
Anger Coach Online, the popular distance learning program of The Anger Coach now offers a free ebook of the course material, once the online course is completed. This is in response to many requests for the program by persons who had completed it, but then had no way to review the material at a later…